Pondering the Foster Care Question

This last week Sheri and I went to the San Joaquin County Social Services to look into foster care.  Sheri and I have been foster parents for the past four almost five years.  However are last foster baby went back with his parents only a week before we moved to Manteca.  And so now we are faced with the question of whether or not we want to continue on this path. 

We have had over 30 children in the time.  Mostly we have fostered babies and toddler.  A few times we have ventured out.  We foster a young woman, and her new born baby.  We have had children with pervasive development disorders, on the autistic range.  We have worked with schools, hospitals, counseling programs and testing programs. 

We have enjoyed the children as they have come into our home, but I must admit some have been a trial.  We have had very rambunctious boys.  We have had babies who have had sleeping problems, sometimes due to prenatal drug use on the part of a mother.  We have had preemies, and newborns.  We have changed our share of diapers, sometimes three children in diapers at the same time. But the most serious trials have been older children, who might have behavioral issues, or mood issues. 

Our home has been open to inspections, and reviews.  Some reviews we have not been a part of, others we have.  We have attended administrative hearings, and court hearings.  It has been quite a ride.  And so we are at the point where we must decide if continuing the ride is worthwhile. 

Parenting the children is the fun part, dealing with social services, and the flood of rules is the draw back.  We have had protective service investigations for any number of things.  (They have never been validated.)  These include accidents, a foster son biting a foster sibling and leaving a mark, and unclean house (usually after a wedding when things are bound to get cluttered.)  There were also licensing reviews, and trainings.  You are so open when you are fostering. 

We have met people at social services we enjoyed working with, and there have been those that we would rather they never have come to our house.  We have also made friendships with other foster parents, and acquaintances with birth parents. 

The greatest blessing to come from foster care has been Anthony.  We are so grateful to his birth mother who gave him live, and so grateful he is now a permanent part of our family.  We enjoy having him in our home every day. 

So at this time we look at all the paper work that is required, all the expense involved, all the time commitment to trainings, and wonder if it is worth it.  Financially, we know it is not.  However we asked the worker at the meeting if they have need for foster parents, and the answer is yes.  There are children in need.  And so we are exploring this path again, in the hopes that maybe we can do some small good.