What's In This Blog

I created this blog for my journal. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In this blog I keep many of the things I come across as a member of the church. I also share my experiences on the ACE Train and getting to work, my experiences in Manteca where we have lived for three years, and other things I think are noticeable.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

JustServe.org: Service Opportunities.

We had Fifth Sunday today, and a presentation on  the website: http://www.justserve.org/  This website is a way to connect those wanting to volunteer time and those looking for volunteers.  It is sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  But it is more than a church sponsored vehicle.  It is available for all groups to use and post service opportunities, and for people to sign up to provide service.  If you want to give greater service, this is a great website, no matter were you live.  However it is being rolled out in stages.  It is especially active in California.  I noted that opportunities to serve for the Manteca weekend were on the site, and I understand hundreds of hours of service were provided.  I am not sure if this includes the final cleanup where hundreds of people converged on Woodland Park to help with the cleanup.  Anyway, it is not a bragging kind of a thing.  In fact, we all know that he who serves is often blessed more than the person being  served.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Camberly Rose and Megan

Found some pictures of Camberly with the rabbit.  They look great together.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Notes from Caleb

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." -Jeffrey R. Holland

I think most importantly I learned this week that when faith is exercised blessings come. Elder Mckell and I have been searching for an Investigator to start teaching. And we had a zone fast on Sunday for unity. So we included as part of our fast that we would be able to find a new investigator who we could help enter into the waters of the baptism this transfer. And we just petitioned the Lord. We told him that we had real intent to not go in for dinner and eat until we found someone knew to teach. We had dinner scheduled for seven thirty, and at 7:25 we drove past a lady who was sitting outside her house. Elder Mckell pulled the car (that stud!) over and said a prayer and we hopped out and asked her if we could talk to her for a few minutes. Luckily she said yes, and we taught her the Restoration and she accepted an invitation to be baptized.
It's amazing how the lord blesses us when we exercise faith. I think He smiled upon us when we do. When we say "o.k. Father in Heaven, I mean business!" He believes. And then he has us struggle for a little bit. But as we plow through the hunger or fatigue he blesses us. And I have seen that again and again on my mission. And I don;t know what it is, but it always seems like at the last moment God blesses us. There hasn't been a time where I have exercised faith with pure intent that the Lord hasn't blessed me. I love that.

We need more faith! And I believe that that is true throughout the whole church. We often times don't exercise enough faith to gain the blessings that our Father in Heaven wants to give us.  In Doctrine and Covenants 67:10 it says that if we will strip ourselves of pride, fear, and jealousy that we will see the veil rent and we will see God and know that he is! We will see miracles! I know that this is true. Do the work, God will bless you.

Health as I See It: Rachel's Challenge

My brother shared information about Rachel's Challenge on Facebook a while back, and I have left it as something I wanted to comment on.  Now is the time to make that comment.  Rachel Joy Scott was the first person killed in 1999 during the Columbine tragedy.  Rachel's Challenge is a school improvement process designed to create a culture of kindness and compassion.  It has helped with suicide and bullying prevention.  It is based on something Rachel wrote shortly before her death:

"I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go."

One of the principals of the challenge is to start a chain reaction.  To show a little kindness, which in turn will lead to others being more kind and kindness spreads.  Rachel's Challenge is a nonprofit organization out of Colorado.  I would encourage you to check out their website.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

After Christmas Letter

The after Christmas story.  This is what everyone would have written after Christmas about their lives.  Things change quickly however so and updated version will be out shortly.  
Caleb continues on his mission in Des Moines North and is now serving in Fairfield.  When he Skyped with us he sang “I Am a ChIld of God.”  The scariest thing on his mission w2as someone being shot about a block from their apartment when he was in Des Moines.  He says where he is now has many interesting farm smells.  I guess he is not use to the rural life.  He sang with the choir (bass as they had too many tenors) for Christmas with his companion.  Also sang a duet with his companion in church a few weeks ago. 
Miranda is looking well (or so it appeared on Skype.)  She had a scary incident with a burner being left on in their apartment, and it was only by chance to went back and found it on.  It could have been a tragedy.  She is needing to get arch supports for her feet as they have been in pain.  She has had an interesting time with a new investigator.  She has been sharing about the tender mercis of the Lord and had family prayer with us. 
It seems Skyping time is just too short. 
Tony: Is preparing for baptism and also enjoying gymnastics and his friends.  He is great at school.
Charity: She and Anthony are living in Turlock where Anthony has been student teaching at Turlock High School and finishing his credential so he can teach in California.  Camberly Rose keeps them busy. 
Jeremy: Jeremy and Kayla are living in Tracy.   Jeremy continues to try balancing school and work.  It is a hard thing to do.  They welcomed Bronston Isaac Wardle this year, October 17.   He is a cute little guy.
Mark: He and Lizzy are in Las Vegas.  They too welcomed a baby, Augustus "Gus Gus" Owen Wardle.  He was born
Natalia: Natalia and Ty are still living in the Seattle area where Natalia teaches school.
Sheri: is busy witht he Primary.  She is presidents and they have a couple of groups of rowdy children they try to keep focused every Sunday.  
Billy:  I am rebusy (very busy) at work.  We are short staffed so it seems I try to keep ahead of what a couple others use to do as well as my own work.  I have found a new hobby in genealogy.  This think with the church getting us free access to Ancestry.com and FindmyPast has been great.  I will go to the end of the line in Family Search, get the data and then search on Ancestry.  Quite often I am able to find information with additional genealogy.  Often this starts with someone else’s work, but eventually gets to source material.  You only need one source material to enter the information into Family Search.  Sometimes I get stuck, then I go over to FindmyPast.  FIndmyPast is really good with English records. 
It has been fun.  I have worked in the Netherlands on Mom’s side, the Green and Williams lines (aunt and uncle by marriage) and more recently the Ashton line.  It has been a fun ride.  Now there are plenty of ordinances for family members to do.  The names are at the Oakland Temple in the Manteca, Northland Ward file if anyone wants to take some family names through.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Health as I see It: Auditory Hallucinations

A Look Into Auditory Hallucinations
A couple coworkers were part of the making of this movie.  It is pretty intense.  I liked the quieter part of the movie, at the first where information about mental illness is presented.  When they actually do the demonstration it is pretty intense.  I hope they are describing uncontrolled hallucinations, but with medication the noise form the hallucinations should not be as persistent or as loud.  I myself live with tinnitus (no treatment) but there is always a ringing noise there.  I don't face actual hallucinations with words, hurtful or commanding, which would be very difficult to live with.  A person with mental illness must be some kind of hero to put up with this negative talk.

Health as I See It: Office Ergonomics

This is an article in "Safety Alert Newsletter' from the Employee Services Agency at work, Santa Clara county.  It is important for me as I am one of those who is in an office all day.
Taking Charge of Your Own Office Ergonomics
By Tristan Robledo
From time to time you may notice some discomfort while working at your desk, which is normal. When this occurs you shouldn’t ignore it; it’s your body’s way of telling you that it needs a little attention. Frequently, County employees ask me what is the best way to adjust their workstation, but adjusting your workstation alone isn’t enough. It’s up to you to make changes and adopt good work habits to keep you healthy and ache free at work. Here are some things you can do:
 It’s your chair, adjust it properly. Try to maintain 90 to 110 degree angles at knees, hips, and elbows when seated.
Also, keep wrists and your back straight when seated and typing. Ask a co-worker to look at your seated posture and return the favor.
 When using the mouse, learn to use your entire arm and shoulder. This action uses the larger muscles in your arm instead of overworking the smaller muscles and joints when simply using your wrist or elbow. Also, place the mouse close enough to your body so that you don’t have to straighten your arm to use it.
 Stand up. Even if you can’t take a break or walk anywhere, stand up periodically throughout the day. Standing up at least once an hour will help improve blood circulation, reduce contact stress, and may help with aches and pains.
One simple way to help remind you to do this is by standing every time you use the phone. Another way to design this into your routine is by using a shared printer that you have to walk over to use. Also, instead of emailing or using the phone to discuss work, occasionally walk over and talk with a co-worker in person.
 Take MICROBREAKS! Along with standing, at least once an hour, take time to stretch. Sitting in the same position causes you to overuse certain muscles. Pay attention to your body and perform some ergo stretches.
Common sore parts may include shoulder and back or even forearms and wrists. Don’t forget about your eyes, take 20 seconds to refocus your eyes on an object 20 feet away. This exercises the small muscles in your eyes and helps reduce eye strain. Breaking away from the monitor also increases blinking and will help reduce eye fatigue.
 Vary your work. They are called Repetitive Strain Injuries (RSI) for a reason. When possible, try mixing up your tasks throughout the day and try not to do the same thing for too long.

You can find a stretching guide, ergonomic tips, presentations and other ergonomic resources

Monday, May 25, 2015

Manteca Stake History 2014: Stay-at-home Missionaries


The Manteca Stake Stay-at-Home-Missionaries serve in different programs and in different capacities.  However one thing is common to them all.  They all approach their duties with a great deal of enthusiasm.  
Church-Service Missionaries have a wide range of assignments.  These missionaries work in the welfare system of the church.  “Church-service missionaries labor in the Lord’s vineyard by inviting members to come unto Christ and help them to become spiritually and temporally self-reliant.”   (LDS.org)  There are several missionaries serving in this capacity at the Bishop’s Storehouse.  Jean Murphy and Pat Tubbs (mother and daughter from the Sycamore Ward) have been serving for approximately ten years.  They say they were called and “sort of forgotten” so never released and just continued to serve.  Now they have formally been asked to continue their services.  Julia and Jonathan Crockett (mother and son from the Lathrop Ward) have been serving almost two years and expect to reenroll and continue to serve.  Cody Dunford of the Yosemite YSA Ward has been serving for about six months.  He says he really enjoys his service.  
Service missionaries at the Bishop’s Storehouse are expected to serve at least one eight-hour shift weekly.  Their tasks include helping patrons fill orders, and making sure the shelves are stocked.  Jonathon enjoys being in charge of the bread.
Hugh and Shelia Brown (Chester Ward) were recently released as Church-Service missionaries after serving as Church Service Missionaries at the Bishop’s Storehouse.  The last thirteen months they had been serving as directors.
There are Family History missionaries.  These missionaries work from home, providing technical support for those using the Church’s family history tools such as familysearch.org.  The duties are described in this manner, “As a FamilySearch Support Missionary, you will assist patrons as they work to identify their ancestors and link families. You will provide both guidance and answers to those who contact FamilySearch by phone, chat, email, or social media.”  (LDS.org)  John and Brenda Parker (Lathrop Ward) have served as World Wide Support Missionaries now called Patron and Partner Service Missionaries.  They provide computer and telephone supports  to those using Family Search.  The expectation for these missionaries is 80 hours per week.  However I find that they indicate putting in much more  hours then the  required.  
Linda Ray of the Northland Ward also services in this capacity.  She is a lead of a QI team of approximately 50 missionaries providing support for family search.  She indicates she serves with people speaking at nine languages and from all over the world including England, U.S. Germany, France, Spain, Italy, New Zealand, Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Canada and Australia.  She serves monitoring groups which supports most of the functions of Family Search.  She says if you look across the mast of family search, she works closely with them to make sure they are providing good services.  This includes Family Tree, Memories, Indexing, Search, Wiki and several more.  Again she puts in much more than the expected 80 hours per month, and is enthusiastic about her calling.  She has health conditions which require her to stay home, and this mission gives her the opportunity to help with the missions of the Church.  
Rex and Linda Brown also take on an important role as the serve supporting BYUI Pathway.  This is a program to help people who may have not been able to finish school, to come back and finish.  Linda says for much of the year the commitment is one hour weekly for a group with the participants to see how they are doing.  The students participate in network education through BYU Idaho.  Linda says that during the recruitment time of year the involvement is much more demanding.  
Janet Chance also has an unusual call as a Service Missionary.  She indicates she serves with LDS.org.  She is expected to help cover the LDS.org phone inquiry and email inquiry system at least eight hours weekly but again she says she actual serves much more than this.

The program of stay-at-home missionaries does a couple of things.  It provides opportunities for people to serve missions, who may not have the chance otherwise.  It is also an opportunity for people to participate actively in the missions of the church, whether to redeem the dead, help in perfecting the Saints, or make the humanitarian works of the church function economically.  That this program is such an important part of the church is demonstrated by the enthusiasm these missionaries have to their calls.

Health as I See It: Ebola from Everyday Health.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta from Everyday Health talks about Ebola.  He says it is a deadly disease, but not very contagious.  It is hard to catch from someone else as you ha e to come in contact with their fluids.  It however only needs skin contact, no open sore. 

Life in Manteca123: Memorial Day Service: Park Clean Up

Tony was asking about this family tradition of getting up early on Memorial Day to go help clean the park.  He seemed to overestimate, but based on his years, this is our fourth Memorial Day Park Clean Up.  This is a small part we get to play in the Not Forgotten presentation put on in Manteca every year.  Those who put it on brag it is the largest such celebration West of the Mississippi.  That is pretty cool.  You can see my report of the actual day "Not Forgotten."
Here are a few pictures of this morning.  Tony did quite well, and was busy picking up with his mother for about a half hour before the temptation of friends and the playground took over.  He came home again saying Woodward Park is the best in Manteca.

Life in Manteca 122:Memorial Day Sunday: Helicopter Takeoff, Fireworks, Bouncy Houses, Family History, Memorials, Concerts

Memorial Day Sunday turned into an all day event.  I left church early, and headed to Woodwoard Park to help man the Family History Library Family History tent.  It is amazing how many people are interested in the family history.  I showed people how to get started, and then made sure they were aware of familysearch.org if they want to get started for themselves.
Just as my shift was ending, Kayla and Jeremy arrived.  We walked the boys around through a few booths, went and saw Brother Booher in the Chinook helicopter and took pictures.  Skylar then tried the slides, and really did a good job of it.  Jeremy had to go to work so they left early.

Sheri and the boys arrived in a little bit.  They too went on the bouncy house and slides.  Tony went through the helicopter and got a picture with his  former Primary teacher.  Charity and Anthony arrived and went through the memorial displays and the helicopter. 
  We had to move our spot in the shade for the helicopter takeoff.  It was cool, but also very windy and dusty.  I had gathered up our cups of iceies.  Tony says the blew away and hit a girl.  I hope the ice didn't spill on her.  The Chinook took off over our heads and toppled us all over the place.
We were only somewhat interested in the concerts.  I found my way back to the memorials during the concerts.  The concert that most interested us was Lincoln Brewster.  However the only song I really identified with was "Hallelujah."  They sang what they called a new song "Oxygen."  "I need you more than anything.  I need you more than oxygen."
We though we would enjoy the "Fire Dance" but much of this was not on stage, so we couldn't see it well.  The fireworks started promptly at 9:30.  They were very nice.  A lot of lower fireworks, which were good as we had a very good view.

Manteca weather can be crazy.  All they we were over hot and in the son and sought refuge in the shade.  However, when the sun went done and a breeze came up we  were snuggling under blankets trying to keep warm.
It was a good day.  Saw Brother Booher and his wife Dacia, Sister Goodwin, The Browns, Brother and Sister Zepeda.  The Petersens briefly.

Manteca Memorial Day: Not Forgotten Fireworks

Memorial Day: Chinook Helicopter Take Off.

Mormon Tabernacle Choir: Memorial Day

This is from Music and the Spoken Word, Memorial Day, 2014.  The story of the sinking ship and the sailors in the water is amazing.  "Battle Hymn of the Republic" is on of my favorite.  Enjoy!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Health as I See It: Ebola: Letter from Jeff Smith, County Executive

This is a bit dated but still good information.  I am taking excerpts from a letter by Jeff Smith, Santa Clara County Executive

...Please know there is no Ebola in Santa Clara County.  The risk of Ebola infection in our community is extremely low and we mean to keep it that way...

There are a few things that you should know about the current situation:  

Ebola only spreads from sick people and is not spread through the air or water.  The virus spreads only by contact with bodily fluids from an infected person.  It is NOT SPREADby people who have been exposed to the disease but are not yet sick.  In essence, spread of this disease requires very close contact with an infected individual.

...Ambulance providers are now being required to begin all patient interactions by asking those who have a fever whether he or she has traveled to Sierra Leone, Liberia, or Guinea. These are the countries in West Africa where Ebola is currently spreading. 

...Staff at Santa Clara Valley Medical Center are currently screening patients for travel to the West African countries mentioned above and symptoms of a possible Ebola infection, based on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommendations.  

·         There is no Ebola in Santa Clara County or California.
·         Santa Clara County has been preparing and continues to prepare for the extremely unlikely chance that a person in Santa Clara County becomes sick with Ebola.
·         The Santa Clara County Public Health Department has provided information to medical providers and hospitals in our community so that they are informed and prepared.
·         Ebola can only be spread by contact with the bodily fluids of a person who is sick and has symptoms of the disease. The disease is ONLY spread by direct contact with a sick person’s body fluids.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Health as I See It: Santa Clara County Suicide Prevention Pamphlet

This pamphlet explains itself.  It includes prevention, intervention and postvention services.

Health as I See It: Injury and Violence Prevention

Violence is a major health concern.  Violence causes premature death and injury.  The point of this website is that we all play a roll in preventing violence.  This page is sponsored by Public health in Santa Clara County.

Life in Manteca 121: Memorial Day: Vietnam Wall Replica

The main day for the Memorial Day celebration in manteca is tomorrow.  However the wall has been up for several days and I decided to visit.  I found two elders and President Brown, guiding people, instructing them on how to find names of loved ones that might be on the wall.  58,000 American service men lost their lives in Viet Nam.  That is quite a number.  I saw in the paper that 20 years ago the "Wall" was part of Memorial Day exhibit.  To say the least I was impressed.  The crosses are there as well as other Memorial Day exhibits.  The stage is on the opposite side this year.  Very impressive.  I recommend you go tomorrow.

Tony trying a tree

If you come by I will be at the family history table so look me up.  Billy

Health as I See It: Depression and Exercise

Dr. Lynn Johnson
has made a series of videos on depression.  His conclusion is rather interesting  Coworker shared this at work and it is worth a watch.  I will be posting the others.  However the bottom line of this video is that medications and psychotherapy help, but don't help everyone.  On the other hand, exercise helps a greater percentage of the population.  If you are looking for self help, or are a therapist, this is a great tool.

Visiting Board of Supervisors Meeting for Unit Based Team Presentation

About a month ago I was at the Board of Supervisor Meeting as part of the Unit Based Team presentation.  This is a collaborative effort between the union, administration management and line staff to work on projects to improve the work environment.  I am there with my boss Joe Tansek.  Also his boss Mikelle Le and her boss Sandra Hernandez were also present.  We represent the work done at the Mental Health Callcenter.  We worked on a project to help people get connected with services.
At the above website look for Unit Based Teams on the left and you will go directly to where the presentation takes place.

As part of the meeting there was also a presentation on the Armenian genocide of 1915 and also a presentation to the Crisis Intervention Team officers.  This is a collaborative between the police organizations of Santa Clara County and mental health in which mental health trains the officers to handle mental health situations.

Health as I See It: Stroke: Fast Action Saves Brain Cells

I am paraphrasing an article from Everyday Health:
Quick action, getting to the emergency department, in the case of a stroke can save brain cells.  In other words, it saves lives and can reduce the loss of functioning.  A stroke basically means that blood cells are dying due to a problems with blood circulation.  Strokes come in two types: ischemic and hemorrhagic.  In ischemic a blood clot is stopping blood from getting to a part of the brain.  In hemorrhagic, a blood vessel has burst leaking blood into the brain.  In both cases quick action is needed.  However to act quickly you have to recognize a stroke.  This article suggests, "Signs may be subtle — someone just isn't quite normal, seems tired, confused, or uncoordinated."  I googled "signs of a stroke" and got this result:
  • SUDDEN numbness or weakness of face, arm or leg - especially on one side of the body.
  • SUDDEN confusion, trouble speaking or understanding.
  • SUDDEN trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
  • SUDDEN trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination.
  • SUDDEN severe headache with no known cause.
In the stroke caused by blood clot, there is a treatment that can eat the clot, if administered within three hours of the stroke.  The blood leakage stroke is more lethal, and causes more damage to the brain.  But again timely treatment is needed.   Strokes vary based on size and location.  Even a small stroke, in a delicate location can have big effects.  We should all be aware of stroke signs, and the need for timely action.  I know at Valley Medical Center where I work they have a stroke team, just as they have a code blue team.  This is to give treatment in a timely manner for the best results.

Health as I See It: May is Mental Health Month Celebration

Join the Mental Health Matters Month Celebration!
The Behavioral Health Services Department and its prevention and early intervention programs invite you to a celebration of hope, wellness and recovery. If you are interested in attending during work hours, you must have prior approval from your supervisor. The celebration will be held May 27
from 12:00 pm – 3:00 pm at the Learning Partnership, 1075 E. Santa Clara St, San Jose. There will be music, program information, resources, giveaways, wellness booths, and cultural ceremonies. 
The first 50 to attend will receive a free Each Mind Matters t-shirt.  You can also participate by taking an online course on suicide prevention or attend a Mental Health First Aid Training. For more information,

Friday, May 22, 2015

Health as I See It: Mental Health Matters

This is again in conjunction with Mental Health Month.  I notice the month's title has been changed to Mental Health Matters.  This little blurb is again taken from the county hospital internal email:

Mental Health Matters
Mental Health Awareness Month is aimed at educating communities about psychological disorders
while reducing the stigma that surrounds them. We all experience different levels of mental health
throughout our lives. In fact, half of us will deal with some type of mental health challenge over the
course of our lifetime. Unfortunately, sometimes these challenges can become more serious and
require more attention. However, there is good news. Recovery is also common and we can all do
something to help. The work of the Behavioral Health Services Department is driven by its
commitment to promote mental health as a critical part of overall wellness, including prevention
services for all, early identification and intervention for those at risk, integrated care and treatment for
those who need it – with recovery as the goal. More information is available at

Health As I See It: May is Mental Health Month

This is a paragraph I took from the County Newsletter.  I think it is a good explanation of the importance of mental health and wellness.

May is Mental Health Matters Month
Wellness is essential to living a full and productive life. It is about more than just the absence of
disease and involves complete general, mental and social well-being. Whatever our situation, we
are all at risk of stress given the demands of daily life and the challenges it brings—at home, at
work and in life. Steps that build and maintain well-being and help us achieve wellness involve a
balanced diet, regular exercise, enough sleep, a sense of self-worth, development of coping skills
that promote resiliency, emotional awareness, and connections to family, friends and community.
You can also take stock of your well-being through regular mental health checkups and screenings,
just like you would to check your blood pressure or get cancer screenings. During Mental Health
Month support early identification, prevention and intervention efforts.

Caleb's last letter and pictures, Nauvoo and Carthage

Subject: We had a wonderful week!

Life is so great! We have seen so many miracles that they are numberless. 
I can't tell you how excited I am for what the future holds. 

Good news! Elder Broadbent and I will be staying together! Which means we will probably be together my last transfer as well! Which also means that besides Elder Standage he will be my second three transfer companion!
It's gonna be awesome. He is going to keep pushin me to finish strong.

So I must admit... Mama sent me a Birthday package and I definitely opened it early. And it was so funny. The stuff that was in there was out of control! 
I played a lil dress up on Sunday night while Elder BBent was collecting key indicators from the zone. And let me tell ya... the pictures were out of control funny. ahaha. I have also recently realized that I am an awful yoyo'er and that fake mustaches are like coolest things ever. aha. Anyways, it was a fun little pre birthday celebration. I was also blowing those little Birthday horn things in Elder Broadbents ears and he was probably so tired of me. aha. Anyways,
Thanks for the package mama! 

Life as a missionary is so good. 
Today during studies I felt prompted to set goals for the last two transfers of my mission. I just feel like I need to push myself harder in order to experience the most growth possible. So I was able to set goals during my studies and I am pretty excited to do all that I can to achieve them. Father in Heaven will most definitely have to help me. But I know that they will benefit me and my spiritual growth. I am excited for the transfers ahead. 

I have a firm testimony that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I know that because of the Spirit that I feel as I read the Book of Mormon. The power in that book is beyond what words can describe. Of course it is true. If not, where did it come from? the only source could be a loving Father in Heaven. If you question your testimony of the restored gospel, please talk to a missionary. They can help. 

I love each of you. Thanks for all that you do for me. I can't believe I will be twenty tomorrow. That's old enough to like buy my own car or something! aha. I wish time would slow down. 

I am excited to leave it all on the field. The mission field that is.

Elder Caleb James Wardle