Discussion of Adoption: Part Three

I previously published a blog based on the book, “Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew.”  (See July 1 2010)  It has taken me a long time to get back to this book, but I am now ready to talk about the second thing on the list; “I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed.” 

Instead of responding with my criticisms of the book, as I have done in the past.  I just want to comment on what I have learned, and what I might use.   

The definition the author proposes for adoption loss is: “Surely the adopted child has areas of strength and average ability like everyone else… and surely the adopted child has larger areas, or different areas, of emotional weakness than most people do.”  Some of these areas of need a child might have include: “Depression. Rage. Bewilderment. Confusion about identity.  Fear of loss.  Shame.  Lack of direction.  Lack of emotional stamina.  Low stress tolerance.  Floating anxiety.”

Our Tony is three and a half, and so some of these issues may be based on his age.  However what seems to be issues he is dealing with now are lack of emotional stamina and low stress tolerance.  He does seem to have direction, and is able to get his needs met.   However in his play he seems to become frustrated easily.  And when he is frustrated, he begins to yell.  He also gets frustrated more easily when he is tired.  If I am talking about something related to adoption, or something related to his age and his having a nap or not, I don’t know.     

The author quotes Dr. Foster Cline, well know pediatric doctor.  "Nowadays I believe most adopted children have vulnerability. And the politically correct thing to say is that their genetics may be 'fragile.'  All this has been proven to affect the developing neurons.  Stress and substance abuse in pregnancy do not just cause psychological problems.  They cause wiring or neurological problems."

The author has a list of possible special needs.  Those that might apply to Tony are:

Emotional Needs:

I need help in learning to deal with my fears of rejection—to learn that absence doesn’t mean abandonment, nor a closed door that I have done something wrong.  Tony does have some separation issues, but he is making progress.  He can now let his mother go, and wait a home with a different family member for her to return.  In fact, he often prefers to stay at home, rather than go with my wife for foster visits, unless McDonalds is going to be involved.  However in his nursery class at church, he still insists on being in the class with Sheri and the younger children, rather than moving on with the older children. 

I need help in recognizing my adoption loss and grieving it.   This one is an area I have difficulty with.  How do I bring this up, as I may project a problem when there is not one?   

I need to be assured that my birth parent’s decision not to parent me had nothing to do with anything defective in me.  This is a true statement with regards to Tony.  The courts intervened, and the parents fought against our adopting him.

Educational Needs:

I need to be taught that adoption is both wonderful and painful, presenting lifelong challenges for everyone involved.  This is part of the exciting wonderful trip, but we know not everything is going to be easy.

I need to be prepared for hurtful things others may say about adoption and about me as an adoptee.    This is an area Sheri and I both worry about.  The worry is more perceived than real.  What do people thing about us having adopted Tony?  People don’t say anything to us, but we wonder what they really think at times.   I mom says we’re too old; which may be true.

Validation Needs:

I need validation of my dual heritage (biological and adoptive).  Our Ton is of Latino American descent.  We relish the differences he has brought to our family.

I need to be assured often that I am welcome and worthy.  I try to hug Tony everyday and let him know that I accept him for who he is.  I know Sheri does the same.

I need to be reminded often by my adoptive parents that they delight in my biological differences and appreciate my birth family’s unique contribution to our family through me.  Tony’s biological differences excite me.  He is the only one in the family with curly hair.  I love his hair and his complexion.  Charity’s fiancé has curly hair, and the have the same name, Anthony.  We call Charity’s boyfriend Anthony and our boy we call Tony.  Tony is tall and skinny.  He has a hard time keeping his pants up, and his mom has a hard time finding pants that fit him.  But we love this about him.

Parental Needs:

I Need parents who are skillful at meeting their own emotional needs so that I can grow up with healthy role models and be free to focus on my development, rather than taking care of them.  I hope we take care of our junk, and don’t lay it on any of our kids.  Of course parents are just human, and we have cycles where we feel better about things, and not so good about things.  We have times when as a couple we feel good about each other, and some times not so good.  It is a struggle to not let that stuff get to the kids.

I need my adoptive and birth parent to have a noncompetitive attitude.  Without this, I will struggle with loyalty issues.  I hope I have never said anything bad about Tony’s parents.  However I am also honest and when Tony asks, will tell him why the courts allowed us to adopt him. 

Relational Needs:

I need friendships with other adoptees.  We have never thought about this part of the question.  There are other adopted children at our church, and we have pointed them out to Tony.  We are still part of the foster system, and tony has relationships with this process.  We are torn if it is good or bad for Tony to see other children come and go.

Spiritual Needs:

I need to be taught that my life narrative began before I was born and that my life is not a mistake.  We teach this to tony every day.  His favorite song is “I am a Child of God.”  We are so grateful to his birth mother for allowing him to be born, so he can share this journey with us.

I need to be taught that in this broken, hurting world, loving families are formed through adoption as well as birth.  We are so grateful to Tony for coming to our family.  The world is not all hurting and broken.  There are good things to see in the world.  I hope to share these with Tony.

I need to be taught that I have intrinsic, immutable value as a human being.  Tony is a child of God.  God has sent him her.  God has allowed us to parent him.  Tony is of immutable value.

The author includes a list of things parents can do.  She suggests the book, “Talking with Young Children about Adoption.”  I have it from the library and will reading it shortly.  She also suggests reading about art therapy.  I studied art therapy in school, and Tony loves his art, whether it be play dough, water colors or drawing.  He is able to express himself through his art.

The author’s conclusory statement for this chapter is, “Helping your child heal is largely centered on honest, productive dialogue between you and your child…  His special needs… will become deep wells of personal strength and empathy within him as he grows older.  

Jeremy is Home

My thoughts on the pat down situation.

 With the recent goings on in the media, full body and pat downs of regular citizens,no religious exception, unless you are Muslim. I don't understand.  It seems CAIR has us turned into knots.  It is time somebody stood up to CAIR, and we started using some common sense.  That would be nice.

I wrote this poem last year after the attack on Fort Hood.  This was a preventable attack, if we had been more worried about safety rather than political correctness.  I don't think the poem is very good, but the feelings were real, and I feel important in this debate.  It was also a reaction to the military general who talked about he importance of maintaining diversity in the military.

 

This Christmas, Your Son is Dead

This Christmas, your son is dead,

But don’t worry, diversity is alive,

Better for more sons to die,

Than for us to lose diversity in the military.

This year, your 80-year-old mother

Will be searched at the airport,

But it is random, we wouldn’t

Want to look like we are targeting anyone.

So the peaceful Muslim sitting next to you

Will not be searched, it’s the luck of the draw,

Islam is the religion of peace you know,

Don’t worry if he says his prayers, or makes threatening comments, or situates himself in such a manner as to be prepared for an attack, or shouts the name “Allah,”…….

He is a peaceful man.

Of course if you comment, or report him

Or do anything, I will think you are a bigot.

His is the religion of peace.

You are the hater.

This Christmas, your son is dead,

We were blind to all warnings

That this killer could be a terrorist,

Diversity is still alive.

Lessons from my Children: Fostering; Bonding is Real

From our first foster child, and through all 33 of them, I have learned that bonding is a real process, and it doesn't matter the length of time the child is with you, you still think about them after they have moved on.With our first foster child, a six year old girl, I realized that bonding is a very real experience.  I feel the job of a foster parent is to form an attachment with the foster child, and in so doing, the child is better able to have attachments with other adults they may live with in the future.  Whether that is their birth parent, a relative, or a future foster or adoptive parent.  I will admit, I have not bonded well with every foster child, but with those I have bonded, I have had a much better experience.  I found a couple definitions of bonding: 

Science Daily

Human bonding

The term human bond, or more generally human bonding, refers to the process or formation of a close personal relationship, as between a mother and child, especially through frequent or constant association.

When pairs have favorable bonds, the nature of this bonding is usually attributed to "good" interpersonal chemistry.

The word bond derives from the 12th century Middle English word band, meaning something that binds, ties, or restrains.

Its application to interpersonal human relationships has been used intermittently ever since.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/h/human_bonding.htm

Wikipedia

Human bonding is the process of development of a close, interpersonal relationship. It most commonly takes place between family members or friends, but can also develop among groups such as sporting teams and whenever people spend time together. Bonding is a mutual, interactive process, and is not the same as simple liking.

Bonding typically refers to the process of attachment that develops between romantic partners, close friends, or parents and children. This bond is characterized by emotions such as affection and trust. Any two people that spend time together may form a bond.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_bonding

          The articles I have looked at, talk mostly about mothers bonding with children.  There is less said about fathers in the process.  However bonding is just as real for men as for women.  The articles talk a lot about breast feeding as an avenue to bonding.  With foster or adoptive children this has not been a possibility. 

          Each child has come to us differently, and with their own unique situation and circumstances.  We have had children removed at birth due to substance misuse, we have had a child whose mother was developmentally delayed, and we have had children who were the survivors of a great tragedy, through no fault of their parents or their own, but as a result were going through a period where their parents could not care for them. 

          We have picked up children from the shelter, from hospitals, or have had social services bring them to our home.  We have had children with us for less than a day, for less than a week, for a few months, or for over a year. 

          We have also had children from varying ethnic backgrounds.  This includes White, Latino, Filipino, Vietnamese, Chinese, Samoan, and probably more.  Also from many economic classes.

          In each circumstance there has been the chance to bond.  So without divulging names, let me talk about a few of our foster children.  From the start we had a pretty little girl.  She would toss and turn at night, and Charity, who roomed with her at the time, would get up and adjust her covers.  She was sweet.  It was during the winter, and the bush in front of our house looked bare.  She drew pictures of leaves, and taped them to the bush so it would look better. 

          We were then blessed with Tony, our “preemie,” who from the moment we held him, we loved him.  He was small, and so dependent on us, you couldn’t help but love the little guy.

          We parented one-year-old twins, and they were a handful, but they were so cute and snuggly you couldn’t help but love them.  Natalia discovered that they liked “I am a Child of God” and so we would sing them to sleep.  There older brother had the longest eye lashes.

          Then there was a six-month-old who had been sleeping in the car with his mother, and consequently his head seemed misshapen.  He is my “achooie, chooie” boy.  He would sneeze and I would do the “achooie, chooie” against his forehead and then he would laugh.  He was fun.

          We have had babies that were the most beautiful things you have ever seen.  I really mean beautiful.  There was a baby with dark Samoan skin, another with the deepest blue eyes. 

          Then we had a three-year-old girl going on 17.  She was so sophisticated and clever.  It was during gymnastics season and she went to the finals meet with us, and enjoyed being on the mats with Charity after the meet. 

          We had our two-year old terror, who was so mischievous you just had to love him.  He loved his father, which was OK because we worked with the courts to get him back with his father.  He was also looking at escaping, and actually did on one occasion when my daughter was getting married.  That was fun.

          We had a little go that came to us behind developmentally.  We worked with him and he actually caught up.  He was our joy.  It has been fun to watch him develop over the years.  He too is with his father now. 

          We parented a single mother and her baby.  She was only 15, and her situation was chaotic.  I would supervise visits between she, the baby and the baby’s father at the mall.  I didn’t enjoy that because it was just too busy.

          We had the most beautiful little girl, who was in our house with three boys.  She had to struggle to hold her own with them, but she did.  When Natalia was married, she had a diaper blow out.  Now that was an experience, but we survived it, and those things happen.  It is part of the territory. 

          We have had sibling groups, and sometimes that is harder, as they seem to argue more, and bother each other more.

          Not all of our placements have been totally successful.  We had difficulty bonded with a young man who introduced himself to us by stealing Miranda’s Ipod.  We knew he had taken it, but it wasn’t until a couple months later that we finally discovered he had given it to a girl at school.  Miranda got it back.  It is harder to bond in that kind of a situation.

          Bonding takes longer with some children.  This could be due to autism or other developmental delay.  However even though the process is slower, it still happens.

          This fostering experience has not been just me.  It has been fun to see other members of the family bond with the children who have crossed our threshold.  Sometimes the bonding is very good, at sometimes, when our birth children have busy scheduled, it takes longer.  We have tried to have the kids involved in the older kids’ sports and activities.  That has lead to some good experiences, and some not so good.  We no longer go to the same concert at the high school.  They usually have two because of the auditorium capacity, so we take turns attending.  Also we have left events, because sometimes little people just can’t handle the length of the event.   Sometimes we are chasing out in the hall, or wherever, and only paying half attention.  Those things happen, and are part of the bonding process.  

          I hope I have been able to have a positive impact on the children who have come into our home.  Sometimes, you wonder ehen you never see them again.

         

Saints Helping Hands

This last year, in May Caleb, Miranda and I went to Saints Helping Hands day.  We were in a upper part of Sanborn park and pulled a yellow weeds all day.  It was an invasive species.  It was really quite fun.  There were big weeds and their were small ones, and we pulled them up.  Sometimes we used a weed pulling tool which they provided.  We had piles of weeds all over the meadow.

California wide 70,000 people participated, and 500 from our stake.  They worked on beautifying and trails; and made a good impact.

Caleb with shovel

Caleb blue beanie

That's my backside and Caleb with the tool

Miranda on right

Pictures from Martin Jeffries

At stake conference they announced we will have another day in April.  It would be cool if we could top 100,000 statewide, and over 1000 in our stake.  To do that we need to get others involved with us, because providing service is something people from all faiths like to do.

Thomas Morton marriage certificate

 

Thomas Morton married OCT 30 1954

Sparky; the Dog.

How the kids ever convinced us to buy a dog is beyond me.  But I ran them up north past Oakland to buy it, and bought the crate for the dog on the way home, and now we are a dog family.

Cleaning the kids' room reminded me how destructive the little dog was when he was more puppyish.  Legless barbies and other chewed toys.  He had his own chew toys, but they were never good enough for him.  You wouldn't belief how many bottle nipples and binkies we had to replace because the the little terror.  It seemed if the fell on the floor, they were chewed. He seems to have gotten past that stage.  Maybe that's because we decided he was an outside dog.

But now there's the mess outside.  He was a tendency to get into the trash (which we put outside because the the one-ear-old terror inside.  His favorite thing to chew it seems are bad diapers.  I hate having to pick up trash all around the house, but I do it all the same.  This week we may have found an answer.  We have brought the big trash can that goes to the road right outside the back door, and everything goes directly into it.

And then there's the dog getting away if he wants.  It's hard to let him out to play, because he will take off down the street, having gotten through the front fence.

He does have some redeeming factors.  He is a cute little guy, and man can he run and jump.  He loves to run around the front yard, chasing a ball.  And he can jump a lot higher than you would think.

Charity's birthday

We did not do well for Charity's birthday.  We didn't celeb rate the day of her birthday because Antony took her out.  So we had it on Sunday, and this photo attests that we made her make her own birthday dinner.  We didn't get cake done, so Charity made one for herself tonight.  Mark was here for the celebration as it was Marine Birthday Ball the night before and he came home for it.  Charity was satisfied with ham dinner, and she learned how to make ham gravy.

Happy Hollow Day

A day at Happy Hollow with Miranda, Tony and J. (foster son)  We had fun.  The slide is great, as was the petting zoo.  My only complaint, $10 for parking.

Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

My first introduction to Jane Austen was the 1995 BBC "Pride and Prejudice" with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth. I don't know why I like this story so much, but I do.  At least once a year, over a weekend, I go through the entire series.  We have it in VHS.

More recently, 2005, the Keira Knightly version came out.  I enjoy this one as well, but not as well as the longer version. 

I think I have all the Jane Austen movies (not each version, but at least each story.)  I have also read all the books now.  I like the way Jane Austen writes, and I enjoy her stories.  I am intrigued by her characters, and the changes they make in their lives.

All of Jane Austen's novels have received great acclaim. "Sense and Sensibility" "Emma" "Northanger Abby" "Mansfield Park" and "Persuasion."  I enjoy these works, but still "Pride and Prejudice" is my favorite.  I love the character of Miss Eliza Bennett, her whit, her strength, and her walking miles and miles to calm her mind.

Lessons From My Children: Anthony; Have a Good Time.

    
Anthony's story of how he became a part of our family is remarkable.  He was born six weeks early, and shortly after his being born, Social Services informed us that he would be coming to our home.  We had recently been licensed as foster parents, and he was our second foster child.  We were a little bit wary, having had no experience with parenting a preemie.  Sheri visited him in the hospital a couple times, and visited with the nurses before bringing him home. He was born four pounds seven ounces, and when he came to our home at two weeks weighed about five pounds. He was the love of our life from his first coming home.  Man those preemie diapers are small.

His only medical problem after that has been his kidneys retaining too much water.  But that has pretty much resolved itself as he has gotten older.  They were also worried about the strength of his legs.  But with climbing up stairs, and jumping on trampoline, his legs are as strong as anyone's his age.  He now enjoys climbing trees, the wall the shelf etc.  He's Spider Man you know.

My proudest moment with Tony, when he was small, was taking him to my older son's Marine graduation. I had him in a carrier, and people so much wanted to see the beautiful baby.  He was still small, but such a beautiful boy.  I didn't tell anyone he was our foster baby; just our baby.

But, unfortunately, our happiness with Tony was short lived.  Social Services found a relative placement for him, with cousins, and after he was with us only two months he moved on.  I went to the exchange, which took place at the shelter.  He weighed eight pounds when he left us.  We really didn't think we would ever see Tony again. 

But who knows how things work.  About ten months later, after his first birthday, Social Services called us to inform us he was available for placement. We jumped at the opportunity.  Our baby boy was coming back home.

We were close to Tony from the first moment he came to our home, both times.  We have loved him.  He was very easy to love. After a child has been in your home six months you can petition for de facto parent status.  This we did as soon as we could.  And so we were then more involved in the court process.  Social Services has a general philosophy of placing with relatives, no matter the circumstance; so much so that even after his mother's parental rights were terminated, they found a relative placement for him.

When Tony became available for adoption we wanted him to stay with us, forever.  We did not feel it would be good for him to move to another home.  Social Services, having found a family, and after his being with us for almost a year altogether, developed a plan to move him, to family members he didn't really even know.  We felt Tony was already home, and that a further loss (he had bonded to us) would not be good for him.  He had already gone through three removals--loses in essence, and didn't need another one.  They went so far as to take our little baby by car, over an hour away for a visit.  We understood he cried all the way there.  Poor little Tony.

Tony developed a funny habit during this time.  He started seeking out Sheri's blouses when for whatever reason he couldn't have Sheri.  It was cute, but an indication to us that he was overwhelmed with things in his life he couldn't control, and found some comfort with Sheri's smell.  He preferred dirty ones from the hamper, but would take a clean one from the closet if he couldn't get to the hamper.

And so a court contest ensued.  We petitioned the court to not move him, and discontinue visits, which had started with the new family.  Visits were continued, but on a pared down basis.  The court decided to have hearings with regards to determining the placement.
This process seemed to drag on forever.

Generally the court sides with social services.  However there was a precedent of another case being decided in favor of a foster family.  County Counsel was representing social services, recommending movement to the relative home.   The County Attorney's office, which represented Tony, was fighting for him to stay with us.  We finally got our own attorney as well.

After numerous postponings, we finally made it to court.  The deciding testimony was that of Tony's pediatric MD, who was an expert on loss and separation, and told the judge that moving Tony would be detrimental, making him more susceptible to separation issues and ADHD.  What a great day when the judge ruled in our favor and decided Tony would stay with us.

Tony's adoption was finalized April 15 2009.  He was two years, two months at that time.   When he was adopted, Tony slept.  We celebrated at BJs.

Another big day for Tony was his sealing day at the temple.  We went out to celebrate before, because of people's schedule.  Sheri went to the car to change his butt, and left her purse as we were leaving soon.  Someone broke the window and took off with the purse, in that little time.  What a stunner, as the purse contained the documents we needed for the temple, as well as the recommends for most of our party.  Tony's older siblings were going to the temple as well.

With calls to our neighbor, who was able to fax the documents, and the Bishop being there to verify temple worthiness for everyone, we got the sealing done.  Tony wasn't happy until after.  He had to ride in a car with a broken window, and couldn't sleep like he normally did in the car.

It is a joy to have Tony as our son.  Tony reminds us every day that it is important to have a good time.  I took him to the library and he got to play on the computer, and climb on the seats, and look at books and after he said, "We had a good time."  I have taken him to the park and he swung like a “monkey” on the bar, and he pretended to be Spider Man in the swing and shot his pretend webs, and kicked me in the belly as I pretended to be the monster.  We would go by the creek and he threw stones into the water and I picked black berries. 

We have a good time.  He loves to bounce in bouncy hoses, he loves to play with his toys, and he loves McDonald's for the new toys.  Tony has the most winning smile.  His face is so expressive.  He has a good time, and in doing so has reminded us all that it is OK to have fun. 

After we moved to Manteca, Tony and I took the task of visiting all the parks so as to decide which we liked the most.  At that time we were looking for the best Spider Man net.  Now Tony prefers the monkey bars.  He loves to swing, and he has incredible upper body strength for his age and can do many tricks.  I can't remember exactly what the psychiatrist on MASH said, something like "Pull down your pants and slide on the ice."  That is our Tony.

Tony has a different lesson to teach.  This one is service.   He will bring candy and cookies to you.  He loved handing out candy for Halloween.  He will also do little things for you, without being asked, when he sees there is a need. 

Along with his service is his great faith.  He says the most outstanding prayers.  He has many things to tell Heavenly Father.  He is thankful for opportunities to play with his friends, for little things people do for him, for school, and for his momma.

Tony, like all our babies, is a miracle.  He is a miracle and we love him.

Spanish Professor, Jaime Cantarovici

I have been looking at the books of poetry from my Latin American Literature professor.  The books are called "Desde Lejos" and "Flores Artificiales" "From Afar" and "Artificial 

Flowers".  Both published in Spain, 1975 and 1982.  In the first book Dr. Cantarovici explored aging, and lamented that he could not carry as much as when he was younger.  He explores the routine in our lives in the poem "Inevitable".  I identify with this poem, as I feel sort of like I'm stuck in a rut.  Home to work, work to home, home to work, work to home, and to be honest, work isn't very challenging lately.  I've been doing the same thing for many years, but don't dare make changes because of the income; it's hard to rock the boat.

 Inevitable

Knowing that we are all in a line

same as those before,

same as those behind

Always in a line towards…

How sad it is to wait!

How sad it is to not love!

A thought, a word, a sigh,

they are gone forever

forever forgetting.

It is I who cries the morning

because I know what will come

it is I who knows the pain

of those that are in line.

The same as before, today and later,

never looking back

the Man hopes that a voice tells him

—Come forward— for you it is done.


This poem shows Jaime's lighter side


Child of Four Years

You will go to hell.
The will put on you black wings
full of worms
and spiders.
The devils

will dance a dark dance
and the fire will be
eternal.

Or..............

You will go to heaven.
They will put on you great white wings
full of flowers
and perfumes.
The angels
will dance a celestial dance
and the music will be
eternal,

If you behave well
and take your soup
you will go to heaven
to play with the clouds.
If you behave poorly...

I WANT SOUP!


 A short passage about love

LOVE

Life is short and passing
but love is eternal
The spring is light
But summer an infernal.

Autumn is cold
as is the summer
life is short and passing
but love is eternal.

FIRST LOVE

My son was born
with the moon conquered.
The sleep of the centuries
doesn't cause surprise
before your eyes.

It's a thing of yesterday
--the tell me--
it's routine monotony of yesterday.

Papa...
I'm in love
with a girl...
                 cybernetic...

A poem dedicated to his wife

SAY IT WITH YOUR EYES
                                        to Graciela

 Don't pronounce your name
Your life quiet it in secret
I want to discover the enigma
that hides in your chest.

Do you love me? Adore me?

Don't Say it!
                        NO!

It will just be words
that the wind erases.
Tomorrow we will want to remember
the mind in rebellion,
mute and silent
you will cry before the forgetfulness.

Do you love me?  Adore me?

Don't say it!
                         No!

In your profound ees
sealed in mistery,
is the precious jewelry box
where you guard the secret.

With emotion and tenderness
our glance unites
I will tell you in silence
                               I love you!

And int the rush of your face
I will know that you love me too.

Do you love me?  Adore me?

Tell me with your eyes
as they're sincere.

I thought I would share a little bit of Jaime with you.  I really think in poetry, you lay your heart bear, as his is bared in this small sample.  Jaime was a friend.  He signed the copy of have of "Desde Lejos".   I took three or four classes from him, the writings of Pablo Neruda, and a couple about Latin American Literature.  I will share some of the poetry from those classes in later blogs.

Jaime and I had a dual relationship.  In addition to being my professor, he was also a competitive coach in soccer.  I coached the team form Hyrum, and he coached his son's team in the early days of soccer play in Cache Valley.  I remember one year both our teams made it to the finals in Brigham City.  We had some good times.

Jaime was taken from us too young.  He was born in Bolivia, but his family moved to Argentina when he was in high school.  While visiting his family in Argentina in 1986 he had a massive heart attack and passed away.  He was only 43 years old at the time.

Tony and Books

Tony insisted I read him book after book while politics were on T.V. tonight.  Some of them were counting books, and I counted with Sesame Street and Pooh Bear, some of them were zoo books and we looked at zebras and giraffes.  Tony said his favorite animals were the lion and the monkey.  He likes to swing like a monkey when he goes to the park.
We read three Seuss books, I didn't remember reading before--"The Eye Book," "The Nose Book" and "Mr Brown can Moo! Can You."  They were pretty fun.  We made all the noises with Mr. Brown, and we saw all the things the eyes could see, and we wondered what it would be like if we had no nose. 
We read "Big Dog, Little Dog" by P.D. Eastman.  The bird got them straitened out so they could both sleep comfortably.
We started the evening reading books about tractors and trucks and farming.  We had fun together.