How the atonement helps me through trials.
Sheri and I with three of our children have lived in the ward for almost two years. We live about as far South, and as far West as you can go in the ward. A couple blocks farther South we would be in Ripon Ward, a couple blocks West we would be in the Lathrup Ward. Sheri is primary president and I teach Sunday School.A few years ago, Sheri's brother and his wife lost their high school son, who was struck by a car while he road his bike. As I observed their grief, I tried to write a poem, but could never get past the first line. Parents are given a seat of honor at their child's funeral. "There is one thing I would never want to be, and that is the guest of honor at a funerary celebration."
When Sheri and I were first married, our first home was in Duckwater, NV. I worked for the Shoshone Tribe. Duckwater is close to the center of Nevada, where there is almost nothing. It was 70 miles over good road to the grocery store, and doctor care; 50 miles over bad road to the high school; 120 miles to the county seat. I was older (if 26 is older) when I married and anxious to start a family. However, Sheri's first two pregnancies ended poorly, the first in miscarriage and the second in a stillborn birth. I wrote this poem sometime after the birth of our stillborn son.
For Billy Boy
The baby's gone,
But gone to where?
The baby's gone
He is not here.
And so I grope
As a bungling fool
There is no hope,
Night time is the rule.
We sleep too soundly
For we have no cares,
Our lives too roundly
For no one's there.
The cradle board is empty
Our genes not alive.
The baby doesn't see,
Cry, eat, slobber or thrive.
They say the baby rests
In the ground where laid,
But the words don't arrest;
My longings just don't fade.
And damn I say
Inside my heart,
Didn't I pay?
Then why this part?
Why must I play the role
Of a grieving father, almost?
Being a father was my goal
And for now it's turned to rust.
And so we say,
"We'll try again."
But how much must we pay?
Eleven months of pregnancy...
And so much pain.
There she sweat, labor intense
The pain, Oh God, the pain.
The baby's cry, a sweet incense
I can't hear, though I crave.
And still the tears,
Still the lump in my heart
That day full of anxiety and fears
In my life, just won't depart.
And still I grope
Like a bungling fool
Where is there hope?
It seems night time is the rule.
It was through frequent prayer, and yearning to God that I found peace in my heart. I received an assurance that God would make things right in the end. At this last general conference, Shayne M. Bowen spoke of the loss of their 8 month old son and his process of turning to the savior somewhat reflected mine. "As I felt the guilt, anger, and self-pity trying to consume me, I prayed that my heart could change. Through very personal sacred experiences, the Lord gave me a new heart, and even though it was still lonely and painful, my whole outlook changed. I was given to know that I had not been robbed but rather that there was a great blessing awaiting me if I would prove faithful.
My life started to change, and I was able to look forward with hope, rather than look backward with despair.... I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost.
Father Lehi said, 2 Nephi 2: 25 “Adam fell that men might be; and men care, that they might have joy.” As I think about this statement, I wonder if Lehi may have been mistaken. These statements appear to be contrary. Adam fell, Men are fallen, how can the purpose of the fall be, "To Have Joy."
moses 6: 48 Enoc seems to contradict Lehi "And he said unto them: Because that Adam fell, we are; and by his fall came death; and we are made partakers of misery and woe."
The "True to the Faith" pamphlet says: As part of Heavenly Father’s plan of redemption, you experience adversity during mortality. Trials, disappointments, sadness, sickness, and heartache are a difficult part of
life, but they can lead to spiritual growth, refinement, and
progress as you turn to the Lord.
I think of the matchmaker, Yenta from Fiddler on the roof, “Meanwhile, we suffer. Oh-ho-hoh, we suffer” and later, "we suffer in silence, right, of course right." (Yenta, Fiddler on the Roof).
Returning to "True to faith" Adversity comes from different sources. You may at times face trials as a consequence of your own pride and disobedience. These trials can be avoided through righteous living.
Other trials are simply a natural part of life and may
come at times when you are living righteously. For example,
you may experience trials in times of sickness or uncertainty
or at the deaths of loved ones. Adversity may sometimes
come because of others’ poor choices and hurtful words and
actions.
When Adam fell he was told: Genesis 3:
cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
In this world we are subject to a mortal existence. There are biting bugs, bodies that break down, others who in exercising their free agence, may hurt us emotionally or physically. We all, in our own way, face trials and adversity.
Adam and Eve were able to find joy. Moses 5: 9 And in that day the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam, which beareth record of the Father and the Son, saying: I am the Only Begotten of the Father from the beginning, henceforth and forever, that as thou hast fallen thou mayest be redeemed, and all mankind, even as many as will.
10 And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.
11 And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.
If we had continued to read Lehi's words we would have see this is what he meant. 2 nephi 9: 20 O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it.
21 And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam.
The Lord accomplished the great atonement. Some of the blessings of the atonement are: We will all be resuurected, We can all be forgiven of our sins, Babies our pure in Christ and have no need of baptism and the point on which I want to focus, We can be comforted and receive peace of the Lord in this life, because he has felt the weight of all our afflictions.
alma 7 11 Alma said, And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities
He took upon Himself our sins, our guilt, our depressions
Our faults, our needs, our indiscretions.
He went below all things
He carried our sorrows.
He suffered for us all, if we would repent;
Which suffering caused that God the greatest of all
Should shrink, and tremble in pain
And suffer both body and spirit,
And bleed from every pore
As it where, great drops of blood
Which fell down to the ground.
Isaiah 53: 3 The prophet Isaiah wrote, He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 ¶Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Because Jesus has experienced the pain of all our afflictions, he can help us in ours. It says in Preach my gospel p 52 As we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses,and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
In modern scripture we read,
D&C 133: 53 In all their afflictions he was afflicted. And the angel of his presence saved them; and in his love, and in his pity, he redeemed them, and bore them, and carried them…
D&C 88: 6 He that ascended up on high, as also he descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth;
Some years ago our family visited Liberty Jail. A place where Joseph Smith and his friends went through tremendous hardship. However is is also a place where we received beautiful scripture. The Lord recited to Joseph the trials Joseph had gone through and then he concludes. "D&C 122 7 …know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. 8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve said: “When … difficult times come to us, we can remember that Jesus had to descend below all things before He could ascend above them, and that He suffered pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind that He might be filled with mercy and know how to succor His people in their infirmities (see D&C 88:6; Alma 7:11–12)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1995, 91; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 69).
Robert D. Hales said
the purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.” Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”13
We have an idea as to why we are tried. It is because in trial there is growth. I have been organizing old pictures of my great great grandfather. Looking at his image, I feel closer to him. When he was 20 he found himself with the Martin Handcart Company, pulling his friend, Langley Bailey, who had become sick with ague in the handcart over much of Iowa and Nebraska. Langley said everything went through him like a funnel. Isaac said the trip went well until they hit the snow. Isaac had no shoes, or they had worn out and he left bloody foot prints in the ground. At one point he fell to the ground and says he wouldn't have gotten up, if someone hadn't come to his assistance. When they arrived at Martin's Cove, they had left most of the handcarts behind, however they needed some to carry camp equipment. Isaac was one who took his handcart into the cove. When he got there he was spent. One of the Valley Boys asked him to gather wood. He said he would not, but was just going to sit there and die. The man insisted. Finally on the third request, Isaac complied. That action probably saved his life, as he warmed and reinvigorated himself in the gathering of wood, old cedar trees.
I like to think Isaac reflected the words of Frances Webster, another handcart traveler, who later in substance said, "We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation. ...everyone of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities.
“‘I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it. I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.
“‘Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.
This handcart song is based on these words.
We Became Acquainted With God
The Spirit of God rested on our hearts
That spirit saw us through,
Helping us through times of doubt,
Because we traveled for Thee.
In God there is great power
You can feel it hour by hour.
God's miracles are real
We thank him when we kneel.
The angels of God helped us on our way,
Giving us health and strength
To push and pull our handcarts,
Because we traveled for Thee.
You'll not hear us complain,
With God we did acquaint.
The price we paid was small
To heed a Celestial call.
We know God is there we felt Him in our bones
With every step we took
And in our extremnities
We became acquainted with God.
God will not leave us alone in our time of need. Sometimes, His ways are not our ways, and we don't understand, but he will not leave us without support.
The Weaver
My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me,
I cannot choose the colors
He knows what they should be.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow,
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I, the underside.
Not till the loom in silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
- Author Unknown
In the Bible we read,
John 16: 18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
At this last conference Elder Christensen said,
(Craig Christensen:) The Holy Ghost is also known as the Comforter. During times of trouble or despair or simply when we need to know that God is near, the Holy Ghost can lift our spirits, give us hope, and teach us “the peaceable things of the kingdom,” helping us feel “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding.”
President George Q. Cannon said: “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character. He is an unchangeable being; the same yesterday, the same today, and He will be the same throughout the eternal ages to come. We have found that God. We have made Him our friend, by obeying His Gospel; and He will stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them, if we only trust in our God and keep His commandments” (“Remarks,” Deseret Evening News, Mar. 7, 1891, 4); see also Jeffrey R. Holland, “Come unto Me,” Ensign, Apr. 1998, 16–23.
When the fiery trials come, we can be supported through Jesus and his atonement,
Helaman 5: 12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
Scripture Study
In this last conference, Neil L Anderson provided ideas for overcoming trials.
These fiery trials are designed to make you stronger, but they have the potential to diminish or even destroy your trust in the Son of God and to weaken your resolve to keep your promises to Him. These trials are often camouflaged, making them difficult to identify. They take root in our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities, our sensitivities, or in those things that matter most to us. A real but manageable test for one can be a fiery trial for another.
How do you remain “steadfast and immovable” during a trial of faith? You immerse yourself in the very things that helped build your core of faith: you exercise faith in Christ, you pray, you ponder the scriptures, you repent, you keep the commandments, and you serve others.
When faced with a trial of faith—whatever you do, you don’t step away from the Church!
When you are faced with a test of faith, stay within the safety and security of the household of God. There is always a place for you here. No trial is so large we can’t overcome it together.
The Lord invites us to come to Him. These words are based on Lehi's dream:
He Will Heal You
He will heal you, He will heal you.
Bring to him your need, and He'll give you peace.
Peace, peace, peace. Peace be unto you.
Because of your faith, Peace be unto you.
Come unto Me, all ye who are heavy laden,
And I will give you rest.
Take of my fruit
And you will be blessed.
Come take of the fruit.
Come take of the fruit,
for it is the love of God,
And He will bring you peace.
He will bring you peace.
I would like to finish with words of comfort. When I think of trials these words help me feel better. First from Elder Robet D Hales.
He knows your sacrifices and your sorrows. He hears your prayers. His peace and rest will be yours as you continue to wait upon Him in faith.
Every one of us is more beloved to the Lord than we can possibly understand or imagine. Let us therefore be kinder to one another and kinder toward ourselves.
And finally these words with which our prophet as he concluded this last conference.
Thomas S. Monson
Let us be of good cheer as we go about our lives. Although we live in increasingly perilous times, the Lord loves us and is mindful of us. He is always on our side as we do what is right. He will help us in time of need. Difficulties come into our lives, problems we do not anticipate and which we would never choose. None of us is immune. The purpose of mortality is to learn and to grow to be more like our Father, and it is often during the difficult times that we learn the most, as painful as the lessons may be. Our lives can also be filled with joy as we follow the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The Lord admonished, “Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” What great happiness this knowledge should bring to us. He lived for us and He died for us. He paid the price for our sins. May we emulate His example. May we show our great gratitude to Him by accepting His sacrifice and living lives that will qualify us to return and one day live with Him.
In the name of Jesus Christ Amen
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